AZ 2010
Alright, I can finally start updating again. The last WP update broke my website, but now I have decided to go with this layout. So, AZ happened. I really didn’t know what to expect going in. Honestly, the first reason for choosing AZ for missions this summer was the fact that they didn’t have a leader at the time, and I was asked if I could help out. Obviously, I would’ve wanted to go back to Chiners, but I needed to practice what I preach because I don’t like it when people resort to the heart issue with missions. If we ask someone to go to Mexico, and they reply, “Well, I think I have more of a heart for Thailand, so I would rather go there…” Are you saying that God won’t be able to use you in Mexico then? Is God not everywhere? Why are you limiting him based on your petty human emotions. It’s not about you! The crazy thing is, when you stop thinking about yourself, and just obey, God DOES make it about you because he’s more than enough. He can use you to bless others, but also take the time to do a good work in you.
I guess that’s what happened to me in AZ. Going in not knowing what to expect, no agenda, no nothing. God did so much out there in terms of ministering to the Navajo people. Every debrief was just filled with something God’s doing in this person or that person. The fact that I was witnessing him work so much was kind of mind boggling. In China, things took time. It was sometimes very hard to see any fruit, so this was exciting to see. At the same time though, he worked in me in so many different ways. He helped me to let go, he confirmed what my heart wanted, he finally answered a 2-year prayer, he allowed me to be a part of a heavily orchestrated plan of his that I got to see unfold, and more.
This post is already getting too long so I’ll end it with this. What AZ ultimately did for me was to remind me of the joy that you get when you are totally living a life for him. Yes, it can be stressful. I hope some people don’t go on missions as an escape. You still deal with your baggage out there. You still have to deal with life out there. The difference is that life has color when you’re totally abandoned to him. Life is FULL. Life is…what it is meant to be. So coming back to my cube on Monday was devastating, but I’m learning not to sulk in that and be depressed about it. I’m learning to embrace it knowing that God works everywhere. I’m learning not to say, “Well, I have more of a heart to live out on the field than work so I would rather do that…” Is God not working at my company? Can God not use me there? Don’t get me wrong, I believe God has plans for me out there, but I think he’s telling me to chill out right now, and do this. Obedience over sacrifice, any day.